Sunday, October 18, 2009

Saying yes to foster.

First, Thank you to everyone who was able to come to our shower! We had a great time celebrating our completion of this phase in our process of becoming parents!

So this week we were presented with another option thru the state that may speed up the process of being placed with a child. While waiting on the foster to adopt (FtA) list we can be in the general foster list. This means that we can get an emergency call about any child that meets our state licensing terms (0 to 4 years of age). Our licenser says that a lot of the children being placed in foster care are actually being adopted.

Brian and I have talked about this and have expressed to each other our concerns which include:

Getting attached to a child that may go back to their family, although this can happen in the FtA the likelihood is about 10% and we do not have any % for straight foster.

A possible placement that does not fit with our family, (this also can happen in the FtA program).

The possibility that we could get passed by for a placement because we had a foster child in our home.

On a plus side it would be a great thing helping a child and a family get back on their feet and it would give us a chance to see how a child is going to change our world. Who knows maybe it would result in our forever family?

I know these seem like selfish reasons, and I kind of feel like a jerk as I type this. We know that someday we do want to foster kids and help them get the life they deserve, but is now the time?


*Side note*

I have been obsessed with picking out a stroller and an infant seat, as you may have read in Brian's last post the convertible car seat we have does not fit rear facing in the Mazda, grrr. If we are placed with a child under 1 years of age then we have to have a rear facing seat!! I couldn't care less about the travel systems as I don't think we would use one. What I want is something they obviously do not make, a lightweight stroller that folds small enough for the Mazda that can accommodate an infant and that has a snack tray. I need a rear facing "infant" seat that is small enough to fit in the Mazda and hold a child up to 32 lbs. All while keeping in mind it has to be gender neutral and in a pattern or color that I can stand to look at all at an affordable price! Is that too much to ask? Any suggestions?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Brief update and an important landmark.

And now we wait...

We are now licensed to be foster parents. Amy and I received our licenses last week. After our third and final home visit where we chatted with Kim (our licensor) about what adoption and family mean to us we got an email with a rough draft of our "Home Study" document for us to proof read. Kim had done a great job of putting all of our information into words and describing our lives and our feelings and intentions about adoption. After some computer difficulty ( is a great free office suite of software, but doesn't play as nicely with MS Word docs as it should) we managed to convey the small corrections to Kim over the phone and our licenses were signed later that day.

Now the real waiting begins. If you didn't know us and you looked at our house you would think we had a child whose clothes and toys had gone missing. Since we don't know if we're going to get a boy or a girl and if they're going to be 1 month or 4 years old we can't really get those things. What we do have is a room with a crib and a bed, a changing table, a potty seat in the bathroom, safety gates at the stairs, outlet covers in all the outlets, and child resistant latches on the cabinets. We have a carseat that will only meet our needs for a 1+ year old or if we only drive the Jeep (the Mazda's back seat is a bit small for the large convertible seat.) We also have fewer places for a curious child to fall down and go BOOM. The bit of wall that was missing in the master bedroom around our stairs is fixed (but could use some paint), the stairs to the basement have a more functional set of railings and the yard is now blocked from the steep blackberry bramble and nettle covered hill and ravine.

It is now like we are pregnant with no idea of a due date. Every call on our phones could be about the child soon entering our lives. It's a bit crazy; how old, what gender, what ethnicity and heritage, what kind of family history, WHEN? Who knows.