Sunday, October 18, 2009

Saying yes to foster.

First, Thank you to everyone who was able to come to our shower! We had a great time celebrating our completion of this phase in our process of becoming parents!

So this week we were presented with another option thru the state that may speed up the process of being placed with a child. While waiting on the foster to adopt (FtA) list we can be in the general foster list. This means that we can get an emergency call about any child that meets our state licensing terms (0 to 4 years of age). Our licenser says that a lot of the children being placed in foster care are actually being adopted.

Brian and I have talked about this and have expressed to each other our concerns which include:

Getting attached to a child that may go back to their family, although this can happen in the FtA the likelihood is about 10% and we do not have any % for straight foster.

A possible placement that does not fit with our family, (this also can happen in the FtA program).

The possibility that we could get passed by for a placement because we had a foster child in our home.

On a plus side it would be a great thing helping a child and a family get back on their feet and it would give us a chance to see how a child is going to change our world. Who knows maybe it would result in our forever family?

I know these seem like selfish reasons, and I kind of feel like a jerk as I type this. We know that someday we do want to foster kids and help them get the life they deserve, but is now the time?


*Side note*

I have been obsessed with picking out a stroller and an infant seat, as you may have read in Brian's last post the convertible car seat we have does not fit rear facing in the Mazda, grrr. If we are placed with a child under 1 years of age then we have to have a rear facing seat!! I couldn't care less about the travel systems as I don't think we would use one. What I want is something they obviously do not make, a lightweight stroller that folds small enough for the Mazda that can accommodate an infant and that has a snack tray. I need a rear facing "infant" seat that is small enough to fit in the Mazda and hold a child up to 32 lbs. All while keeping in mind it has to be gender neutral and in a pattern or color that I can stand to look at all at an affordable price! Is that too much to ask? Any suggestions?

1 comment:

  1. Britax Marathon is the seat we got knowing that we weren't going to have to need an infant carrier. We knew we wouldn't need to change it until we got a booster seat when he gets older. Also - we got the Peg-Perego Aria stroller because it is very light weight and, again, we knew we didn't need the convertible car seat/stroller. It folds and unfolds pretty quickly and it fits in small areas. Of course, a stroller is always gonna be a nuisance but this one we STILL use and it has been quite handy. Small and light weight were key for us. AND my plan was to wear Oscar anywhere and every where knowing that it is the best way to bond with a child. As adoptive parents we are already at a disadvantage and wearing your child is the best. I have the Ergo Carrier AND I have a Maya Wrap. I got them both online and they are very much worth the money. I have two of the Ergos and if you want one - I will send one up :) When it comes to holding your child - remember you can never hold too much. Word to the wise... go with what you feel in your heart. Some people (family and friends included) will look at you or comment or give you "advice" not to hold your child so much... DON'T LISTEN.

    AND, I think that if you feel that it is not the time to open your home to a foster situation rather than the FtA than don't do it. We all want to "save" children but when it comes right down to it, it's ok to be "selfish." Ernie and I had those same conversations and thoughts. They are natural and valid feelings.

    The number one thing is that you will definitely know when your child comes up for placement. Trust and have faith :)

    Good Luck and I will keep you both in my prayers.
    Love, Luana